Back on track..

I have to do this.

Tomorrow I will eat almost nothing. The day after that I am GOING to fast.

I will still drink to pass the time. But I'll have internet, and I'll have wine and thinspirational videos once again, I have candles for my room..

I am mad at the world and I want to be the one that everyone wants the most not the one that everyone wants to avoid because I'm hard to "understand" or "relate" to. And I don't care that they still won't understand.

If thin is the only way to do it, then so be it. I want it anyways. I want to fit into a size zero.. I want XS shirts to hang off me like bedtime shirts when I was a kid. I don't want it to matter how crazy I am.